Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Orange is the only fruit

This is going to be fun.  I mean, mascots are always a fun topic, but given some of the absurd names in the ACC, I'm expecting some seriously weird nicknames here.
Usual rules apply - each mascot is scored out of ten - lowest score goes home:

Boston - Baldwin the Eagle:  Pretty much exactly what you'd expect.  A bald eagle in a football jersey.  The epitome of a 5/10 mascot...5/10

Clemson - Tiger and Tiger Cub: As above, but a bit shoddier.  And there are two of them.  Not sure if that's a good thing or not. 5/10

Duke - Blue Devil:  I'm sure the Power Rangers defeated him about 15 years ago! The problem here is that blue isn't really a devilish colour, so BD ends up looking about as intimidating as Mr Muscle.  Having said that, I'm pretty sure he scares small children. 3/10

Florida State - Osceola and Renegade This is more like it.   I do enjoy the "real life" spin on mascots that CFB provides.  A native American on a horse is far more likely to whip up the crowd than a student in a blue fat suit. OK, the native American portrayal isn't to everyone's taste, but the NCAA has approved it and that's good enough for me.  8/10

Georgia Tech - Buzz and Ramblin' Wreck:  Buzz is terrible - it's a very cheap looking bee costume.  Unlike a bee, he has a humans body and limb cont.  On his own, Buzz would be in danger of elimination...but the Ramblin' Wreck saves the day! The RW is a 1930's Ford (think Bonnie and Clyde) that Buzz drives, it leads the team onto the field at the start of games.  Again, it's an original spin on the genre...I just wish they changed the bee! 6/10

Louisville - Louie:  See Baldwin, but it's a Cardinal and doesn't share it's name with a long standing Coronation Street character. 5/10

Miami - Sebastian the Ibis:  I thought the ibis was an MOR hotel chain, but it turns out that it's also the name of a marsh bird.  Sebastian reminds me a Duck Tales and has a good mascot look.  He also got into trouble in 1989 for dressing as a fireman and putting out the Seminoles flaming spear.  This led to an altercation with the police, and Sebastian spraying an officer in the chest with a fire extinguisher.  The bird was briefly handcuffed, until the police realised how stupid the whole thing looked.  7/10

North Carolina - Rameses:  Not surprisingly, Rameses is a Ram.  He looks like a baddie from Doom.  This makes me fell old. 6/10

North Carolina State - Mr and Mrs Wuf:  Yes, they are married, it happened at half time during a basketball game in 1981.  That's great, but it's actually the only interesting thing I can find about them. 5/10

Pittsburgh - Roc the Panther:  Roc looks like he was made by GCSE art students.  In fact he looks like he was made by GCSE art students who were asked to create a bear.  4/10

Syracuse - Otto the Orange:  I accept the there are problems with dressing someone up as an orange.  Notwithstanding that, this is a hideous sight.  Ok, they've given the orange a face, fair enough, but that means that there are arms coming out of the side of his face! And the legs just look weird.  I think the moral here is to not pick a fruit as your mascot. 2/10

Virginia - CavMan:  It's not great.  It looks a bit like Jimmy Hill. but I guess it's all in proportion and isn't offensive. 5/10

Virginia Tech - Hokie Bird:  Another mascot from Poundland.  Hokie is an odd looking creature.  I find the one piece costumes a bit lazy.  I think I'm getting a bit snobby about this topic! 4/10

Wake Forest - The Demon Deacon:  This is lacking in 2 key areas - 1. He doesn't look demonic, 2.  He doesn't look like a deacon.  In fact, he looks like a Raggy Doll riding a bike.  I commented last time that the term Demon Deacon sounds like a Scooby Doo villain, well I don't think Mystery Inc would be too worried by this creation.  In 1981, the poor student inside the Demon fell into a coma after banging his head on a Gatorade bucket.  1/10

It was close for a while, but to no great surprise the Demon Deacon stole it at the finish.  He's quite possibly the worst, most inaccurately named, shoddy mascot I've ever laid eyes on!  I was happy to then discover that Wake Forest are a terrible team as well, so it's turned out to be a pretty good result.

Given a) the Christmas break and b) looking at uniforms is a bit boring, I've decided to have one big look at the uniforms of the 4 remaining "Power 5" conferences.  So next time I'll be getting rid of a whopping 4 teams!