Merchandise of Doom - Part 2

I thought I'd put together a pretty comprehensive look at the bizarre merchandise available to NFL fans.  I was proved completely wrong, as I've subsequently received an array of pictures showing all manner of weird stuff that can be purchased.  It was whilst going through some of these items that I had a flash of inspiration and decided what my first NFL merchandise purchase was going to be.
Before I get to that, here are the 5 most absurd pieces of NFL merchandise I've come across....

5. The Miami Dolphins Baby Bedding Set

Firstly, nice garden!  Secondly, I'm not show the baby will sleep comfortably surrounded by bright orange and pictures of Dolphins.  Imagine the look on mum and dad's faces when you arrive with this present at the Christening.


4.  An Arm Sticker for the car door  (best explanation I could think of!)

Dear God, this is horrific.  Although I am a bit surprised that I've never seen this, or something similar.  Given the awful items people decorate their cars with, this isn't a great leap.


3.   The Cleveland Browns Clock

Yes, it's rather gaudy and a horrible colour (see all Browns merchandise!), but the real crime here is the layout....the Browns will be losing every time the minutes go past 12!  In fact, at just before one in the morning the Browns will be 0-59 down! Actually, that may help young Browns fans prepare for the disappointments coming their way.


2.   Mr Potato Head

What young Bengals fan wouldn't want to have this in their bedroom? Actually, don't answer that.
Potato Head seems to have a very unorthodox throwing motion, that looks more like he's answering the phone than throwing downfield. At least he's happy though.



1.  All rise please for the most absurd piece of merchandise ever created....The Oakland Raiders Forest Face!

The "Forest Face" is designed to be hung on tree trunks to show your support for the Raiders. It comes with a handy hook and is just over a foot high.  Here's the face in action...

The sales pitch suggests you buy a job lot of them to decorate a large number of trees. Thus confirming your eternal love for the Raiders.
I've encountered man many items of merchandise over the last week, but this is by far the most ridiculous, useless, leftfield and ugly creation I've ever seen.  But if you are interested, they retail at a very reasonable $25 each and are available from most NFL stockists.  That's right, the "Forest Face" is an official piece of NFL merchandise.


You'll be amazed to know that I haven't purchased any of the above items. However, I have made my first NFL purchase, and it's a present for somebody else!
After stumbling through pages and pages of largely rubbish NFL items, I couldn't decide what to get myself. I am yet to have a favourite player, so I didn't want to get a jersey.  Besides, I can almost guarantee that the player whose name I have on my back will get traded/injured/arrested within a week of the purchase.

Instead, I decided to buy a present for my new nephew! And what 2 day old baby doesn't want this...

It's a Baby Gift set - consisting of dummy, bib and feeding bottle!
It could be argued that I'm trying to corrupt a tiny babies mind and lead them on a path of misery and despair.  I prefer to think that I'm sowing the seeds for a fulfilling life as a fan of the NFL's top team.

I'll leave you to decide which is more accurate!

And so ends my look at NFL merchandise.  It allows me to tick off another of the "30 Things to Do" and who knows, it may eventually help me tick off the task of converting somebody into an Eagles fan.  Although that could be a very long term project!

Apparently, there's a minor NFL event taking place on Thursday night.  After much umming and arring I've decided that I won't be staying up all night to watch the Draft.  Instead, I'll be writing a "non live" commentary of the Draft, as I look at the immediate reaction to the event and how the media are reporting it.